Women's Health

Romance in today’s society holds little value pitted against feminist ideals of egalitarianism and the supposed absence of gender roles. However this idea of feminism versus romance has little to do with our current reality.

According to relationships coach Denise Corlett creator of www.datingadvice.co.nz), the dating game still draws rules from previous centuries. Women still want men to be men. "They [men] need to actually step up and go out there if they're interested in someone. Make the move and take the lead" she says.

The complexity in this argument is that society does seem to have moved toward a more egalitarian view of gender roles, so this traditional view may be shocking to some.

Denise says this contributes to the uncertainty of dating in today’s world.
"What's happened is that it's gotten confusing for men to know when to do certain things." In this case for women, they've had to step up and become competent in all areas such as work and social life; becoming totally independent.

Denise says this is all well, but men become wary of where they stand.
She says due to the changing face of gender roles men seem to be confused about the tasks they should carry out when they’re interested in someone.

"Men often feel like they're not wanted or needed. Often they don't step up anymore, or take the lead, or offer to pay for the meal or be chivalrous, which women really want" she says. She says for women chivalry is about being treated with respect in the most basic way.

"Women don't mind being independent but they want a man who will still be able to be someone that they could lean on if they wanted to, and they want him to be able to share with her and lean on her" Denise says this is all down to the difference between men and women’s initial biological drives.

"There is a basic desire underneath most men and women, that men take the lead and like the challenge of that, and women like the man to take the lead and for them to respond and decide who they want to mate with or be with"

Could you resist a man who made the first move in opening the door for you slynkey girls?


  By Joselyn Khor - Auckland