Abusive Relationships

He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me.....

Family violence, intimate partner violence, relationship abuse - these are all names for abusive behaviour within relationships.

When you visit a Family Planning Clinic the doctor or nurse is likely to ask you if emotional, physical or sexual violence is an issue for you. Some possible questions are:

Because violence within families and relationships is a common problem, we are asking all our clients if they have ever been sexually, physically or emotionally abuses. Is anyone hitting or verbally abusing you, or trying to control your life, or making you do sexual things you don't want to do? Has any of this happened in the past that you would like to talk about?

Family Planning doctors and nurses have been screening clients for family violence since 2002 because we know that violence has a major impact on women's sexual and reproductive health and well-being. And, because we have more than 175,000 client visits each year we're well placed to both support women experiencing violence and to refer them to appropriate agencies.

Screening for violence should be carried out as often as practically possible - ideally at each visit. The greater the number of times women are asked about family violence, the more likely they are to disclose. Exceptions to this policy are if the client has a partner with them or is accompanied by a child older than two.

Development of the Family Violence screening programme was lead initially by Family Planning Doctor Anna Whitehead and came about because addressing family violence is integral to Family Planning's mission of enhanced sexual and reproductive health.

We recognise that violence has a major impact on women's sexual and reproductive health and well-being. As an organisation we are committed to reducing the level of violence to women and young people and to raising awareness of the linkages between violence and negative sexual and reproductive health outcomes. This can be seen in unsafe sexual activity, unplanned pregnancy and increased vulnerability to STIs, HIV and AIDS.

Recent studies led by University of Auckland researcher Janet Fanslow and with contributions from Dr Whitehead have highlighted the value of family violence screening at routine health consultations. One study looked at contraceptive use and associations with intimate partner violence. The study found that women who have ever experienced intimate partner violence are significantly more likely to have used contraception than women who have not experienced intimate partner violence. And, while having a partner who refused to use or tried to stop women from using a method of contraception was rare, it was significantly more common among women who had ever experienced intimate partner violence.

Family Planning has developed both a Family Violence Policy and a Family Violence Screening Resource Manual to support Family Planning staff to introduce screening into clinical practice.

The aims of the Family Violence Policy are to provide effective family violence intervention for all Family Planning clients, to ensure screening is culturally competent and appropriate and that the safety and confidentiality of clients is maintained and to ensure Family Planning staff receive appropriate training, support and resources, and work in partnership with key referral agencies.

The Family Violence Screening Resource Manual provides a resource to enable clinics to develop a Family Violence Screening programme, including detailed information on the procedures involved. These include developing and confirming local referral networks, staff training and support, information on the specific steps, and monitoring and evaluation.

Beware of the danger signs:

Sexually abusive - This is when they do sexual things to you that you don't agree to.

Jealousy and isolation - This is when they cut you off from your friends or freak out when you talk to other people.

Aggression - This is when they yell and shout at you, use physical violence, get into a lot of fights with other people, use violence to solve problems.

Put downs - This is when they put you down, call you names, make you feel stupid, make sexist comments.

Control - This is when they check up on you, where you are and who you're with, threaten or force you to do things you don't want to do, and don't let you make your own decisions.

By Family Planning Chief Executive Jackie Edmond - Wellington